Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
