ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
