but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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