I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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