I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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