ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
