They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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