I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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