your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
