I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
