i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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