so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
