I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
