I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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