eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
