respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Everything about him screamed your future.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
