What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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