I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
