I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
