And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
