Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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