Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
