ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
