dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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