He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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