i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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