How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
