And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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