Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
