hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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