dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
