i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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