They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
