Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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