you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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