When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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