White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
