i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
