i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have post one night stand depression
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