oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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