like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
