These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
