It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think my moral compass just broke
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
