New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
