my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
