Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
