I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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