And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
