At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
