white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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