Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
