i think my mom watched the whole time
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
